No such thing as coincidence

One more month left in vietnam. seriously, where did time go? One minute I'm in Hanoi fighting traffic and crazy ass asians, the next thing I know I am in central Vietnam and now in a few weeks I will start wrapping up work? On one hand it feels like life slowed down to super slow motion but on the other hand time just slipped through my fingers.

Before I left, my friend katie gave me a card that reads, "Funny thing about joy is that you only really find it when you are too busy having fun to go looking for it" Although, there have been challenging times (being on my own and just working in a different country) I think I've found that joy.

I took a long bike ride tonight. I wasnt ready to make the turn back into the city so i kept going. Now that I think about it probably not the smartest thing to do, take a night time bike ride in a foreign country with a somewhat questionable bike and insufficient street lighting. However, it was just what the doctor ordered. I definitly needed some reflection time and I forget how good those moments to yourself can be. The only word I can think to describe it is, delectable. thats the first word that pops into mind and somehow i think its fitting.

I've met the coolest people in the past couple of days. A Vietnamese guy, who I think has a bit of a crush on me (21, so its not happening everyone!) a french guy name Julien who owns a bar (actually met him some time ago but he is so cute had to mention him here)and has been living in Vietnam for 7 years. A "dj" who moved to Vietnam to practice his craft (yeah get some fucking turn tables then maybe people will consider you a DJ) A new york times best selling author who has been living in Hoi An for 14 years (promised not to reveal her name)and my favorite, Ken, a 40-something Fort Lauderdale queen who is moving to bangkok.

I met Ken, at a bakery in the ancient quarter. I was looking at the desserts and so was he. We both cooed at the same dessert and that was that, we started talking. He lost most of what he had in the past few years, had to move back home to live with his mother, had a breakdown at the end of the year, a friend suggested to him to go live in bangkok until he could get on his feet and in December he put all his stuff into storage bought a one way ticket and has been in se asia since. Since he's been in Asia he has began a website that sells self improvement tools (from my understanding). And the company has been doing pretty good ever since.

We just had dinner before he left for saigon and i was just so in awe of him (not so much about the website details or the company, even though it is interesting). Here was a man, so completely broken but he managed to picked himself up, shook it off and started over. i think the starting over part is what I am in awe of. Its hard to do and some people are so afraid of it that it prevents them from taking any chances but here he is...laying on a beach, traveling asia, meeting new people, having great sex (his words-lol)with open eyes. taking it for what it is and making the best out of the moment. it was a very refreshing experience. I hope i never lose the ability or willingness to see things as they are and not what i want them to be or expect them to be.

"The Unbearable lightness of being"

lets just start off by saying...my guest room smells like feet and it is driving me insane! Ive searched high and low for the source and I cant figure it out. I think there is a cricket next door or outside my window. Been driving me insane for nights now, I thought I was getting use to it but now i want to blow my brains out. Hey, its all paid for and in the words of cheap Asians everywhere... "if it free it for me!"

Just finished my second round of community interviews in one of the biggest and poorest communes here in Hoi An. We had two escorts because they wont let you go into the communes to ask official questions without a "sponsor". I think...no...I know I am a people person. I love meeting new people. I love hearing stories.

This is why I can go on dates and at the same time have the 3 date max rule (the stories just get old after three dates). Mostly likely this is because I was never read enough fairy tales when I was a little girl. Just FYI for all you parents out or soon to be...(Lashondra! and Joy and Charlene I know you ladies arent far behind! and Rina I know its in the 5 yr plan!) read fairy tales to your little girls otherwise they'll make their own up and be destined to a life of hopeless romanticism.

Anyways, the focus of the interviews is to develop a community profile of the people in that commune...Their livelihood, housing conditions, impacts of natural disasters, services, etc. The questions are pretty simple and general. After every set of community interviews, I take the questions and refine them based on the results of the interview. For example, I've been asking them about cultural differences between the older generation and the younger generation. This question is pretty hard because you first have to define the term culture....taking into account age, environmental differences and social impacts...this is pretty impossible. However, we need to ask the question. So reflecting on interviews I come across obstacles like this all the time.

Right now I am at the point where I think the questions are pretty good and I think I have a pretty good template for the rest of the community interviews. The problem is...or my problem is...I feel the questions are sooo invasive. To understand whats going on you really have to try to know them. They take me for tours around there homes and show me the damage from the flood. And they look at me and can smile. A genuine smile. Not the fake kind, where you know its because they are trying to be polite. No they smile with their eyes. Im asking about how they live. Here I am sitting there, knowing I have access to all these opportunities and am a pretty privilege person, and here are these families living with a monthly income of 3,000,000 VND a month. Roughly $150. Thats not enough for the family but they can still smile like that...its absolutely amazing. At the same time my heart breaks. I could never be a social worker...I have utmost respect for those of you who want to be or are. I say thank you, leave and feel so much weight walking away with all that knowledge.

Maybe thats why they smile right? They feel lighter sharing some of their troubles with someone..and I feel heavier carrying it...and crazy as it sounds, that makes me feel good. Thats a burden I dont mind carrying and I wouldnt give those 40 minutes up for anything.

No pictures this post, ive got my mosquito net up and my phone is charging across the room.

Now, lets see which one of my smart friends can tell me why I decided on this title for my post.

The Persistence of a Dog in Heat

Yesterday my project coordinator boarded a plane back to Hanoi. What did I do after? Biked to the the beach for lunch and had a couple of beers. I know what you're all thinking but forgive me for thinking I deserve a bit of a break from biking in 100 degree (F) and community interviews. Anyhow, while Vuong and I were on the beach finishing our beers, at (directional) one oclock a small white dog was trying to mount a bigger black dog. Here was the conversation that went on between vuong and I. (Use your imagination people)

Sou: Wow. Is that really happening?

Vuong: Huh?

S: (pointing to the dogs) over there

V: haha. Yeah it is happening.

(we watch the event)

S: Oh look, she's bored... (black dog walks away. Male follows) LOL look how much he wants it!

V: Wants what?

S: To mount her! Now looks like he's tired (male dog lays down. female dog lays down about a 2 yards away watching male dog) You know what he's thinking?

V: Huh?

S: "Its ok. She wants this. She'll come back"

V: How do you know that? You can see on their face?

S: Yep! (female dog walks over to male dog) Oh shes good, she's teasing him! (female dog sits down in front of male dog and male dog tries to mount again but female starts biting)

This continues for about another minute

(male dog lays down and rolls on his back)

V: what do you think he's thinking now?

S: Nothing. He's tired.

V: He gave up?

S: Nope. They never give up. (male swats a paw at the female when she approaches him)

V: He gave up!

S: No. Im telling you!

scene continues for a while (female lays with her back to the male. He gets up and tries to mount her)

S: See I told you! They never give up!

(male succeeds for a few seconds but the female fights him off)

Vuong begins to play Grenade by Bruno Mars

"Black, black, black and blue beat me til i'm numb

Tell the devil I said, Hey, when you get back to where youre from

Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are"

S: Perfect song! LOL cheers! (we cheers)

Ok it might not seem that funny when I'm scripting it but trust me in the moment it was hilarious!

Finally made it and its...simply...paradise

Left: View from the hotel room

Bottom: Beach where we had lunch

After two postponements and three weeks in Hanoi, today i finally arrived in Hoi An. Everyone, i met in Hanoi was giving me their opinions but right as we drove into town a few words came to mind. classic, breathtaking, enchanting. The water is so blue and the beach is sandy white and uncrowded. totally unlike the beaches in thailand which were overran by tourist.

This past week has been a real turning point in my trip out here. Wednesday, I had a change of mind...and essentially heart. Then again it could have been the sake, beer, and amazing conversation with my project coordinator at the japanese restaurant the night before and the few wine with my other project corrdinator at dinner the following night..but regardless, i could feel myself changing...i became happy here in this foreign country. Simply happy.

I recieved an email from someone who has probably effected me more than anyone single person, at least up to this point. i initiated the conversation and wasnt expecting anything from him but I wanted to acknowledge my behavior and take responsibility for my actions. I sent the email when i first arrived to Vietnam and i just now got a response. (The asshole lol) He apologized for his part and i realized after I read the email (5 times, of course) how much i needed that from him...to finally let go...I realized how fearless i've become because of him. He's a selfish bastard that most likely wont change, but it took that much hurt to get here to this point and if i had to change anything...i wouldnt.

So needless to say I'm doing alright. I had a bout with food poisioning and had to go to the hospital and was involved with my first motorbike accident...well my driver, our young intern, cut off a guy and he fell off his bike. I finished the time off in Hanoi by going to a karaoke bar with my project coordinator and interns. I tell you..those vietnamese and koreans know how to sing. I mean i thought i was pretty phomenenal (haha) but they have me beat! My project coordinator Ju got down. I mean she can dance! And the interns were belting out the pop hits. as for yours truely, well i held my own with a redition of madonna's Like a Virgin. I didnt get on the ground and start crawling like M did but it was one for the memories. Below is a picture of the stage! Oh the name of the club was X-Men..for a minute I thought it was a strip club and thought the girls misunderstood what i wanted to do tonight. Seriously, i spent 10 minutes debating how i was going to tell them or just go with it.

today we had fresh seafood for lunch on the beach. I have never really cared for seafood (I'll eat it but then again theres not much i wont eat) but i've fallen in love. So fresh. (Jippy I'm thinking of you everytime i take a bit lol) Ive met some locals today. 3 generations living and working in hoi an. Not sure how many of you know about this area but here that is a huge deal. They said they were gonna take me to some of the more secluded and local hot spots. Like a beach that is twice as lovely as the one I was sitting at today. Im pretty excited because I thought the one i was on was amazing.

Now instead of having a bottle of wine on the beach to celebrate finally getting here. I am in my hotel room "working" on preparations for a series of meeting tomorrow and sunday. Definitly learning alot about stekholder identification and analysis but that bottle is calling my name!

Welcome to Hanoi..where the beer is cold...for about 5 minutes

Its been about a week now that I have been in Hanoi...and I am itching to get out. The pollution, traffic, heat and humidity is not a good mix with sou. I am a lucky lucky girl to have this oppportunity and I am trying as hard as I can to make the best out of it but I just have to say I cannot get over this city. I saw a kid whip it out and pee into the sewer. There are traffic lanes and lights here but do people follow them? Nope, no they dont. I have to agree with everyone when they that asians just do not know how to drive. Fucking asians. lol

No the city hasnt been all bad. My roommie for the time being, Rachel, and I have been trying new places and she's great company. Keeps me on my toes since compared to her Im more of a timid city go-er. Im getting use to the pace of the people and I learned how to cross the street, yes I said "learned" because asians cant drive and I've been almost ran over by at least a dozen motorbikes. Ive met some pretty interesting people. Interesting to say the least...a few of them: A 60+ old man who refuses to return back to reality (his words not mine) a 28 yrs old guy who prefers to live and judge people within this bubble of a city, a very sweet drag queen whose trying to save up money by fighting cocks (roosters) to move to bangkok and this sweet thang of a bartender a few steps from the apt. 20 so a little young but i would give him some lovin'. lol

I have an intern whose work I am responsible for...crazy right?! He is about 5'4 probably weighs less than me and walked into the office with a huge hickey on his neck that he oh so gratuitously showed off in his V-neck. i work in an office with 5 other women who are so small, cute and smart. I do, however, feel like a mammoth sitting next to them. lol

I like the apt I'm staying in. Its pretty awesome. Rachels got it made. the only down side is my room is upstairs and the bathroom is down...doesnt work well for those late night drunken trips to the bathroom so I just have to make sure I dont drink too much...or drink enough to pass out downstairs. lol Just Kidding! I dont drink! lol

I leave for Hoi An on Wednesday and Im just excited to see the beach...even if i cant swim.