"The Unbearable lightness of being"

lets just start off by saying...my guest room smells like feet and it is driving me insane! Ive searched high and low for the source and I cant figure it out. I think there is a cricket next door or outside my window. Been driving me insane for nights now, I thought I was getting use to it but now i want to blow my brains out. Hey, its all paid for and in the words of cheap Asians everywhere... "if it free it for me!"

Just finished my second round of community interviews in one of the biggest and poorest communes here in Hoi An. We had two escorts because they wont let you go into the communes to ask official questions without a "sponsor". I think...no...I know I am a people person. I love meeting new people. I love hearing stories.

This is why I can go on dates and at the same time have the 3 date max rule (the stories just get old after three dates). Mostly likely this is because I was never read enough fairy tales when I was a little girl. Just FYI for all you parents out or soon to be...(Lashondra! and Joy and Charlene I know you ladies arent far behind! and Rina I know its in the 5 yr plan!) read fairy tales to your little girls otherwise they'll make their own up and be destined to a life of hopeless romanticism.

Anyways, the focus of the interviews is to develop a community profile of the people in that commune...Their livelihood, housing conditions, impacts of natural disasters, services, etc. The questions are pretty simple and general. After every set of community interviews, I take the questions and refine them based on the results of the interview. For example, I've been asking them about cultural differences between the older generation and the younger generation. This question is pretty hard because you first have to define the term culture....taking into account age, environmental differences and social impacts...this is pretty impossible. However, we need to ask the question. So reflecting on interviews I come across obstacles like this all the time.

Right now I am at the point where I think the questions are pretty good and I think I have a pretty good template for the rest of the community interviews. The problem is...or my problem is...I feel the questions are sooo invasive. To understand whats going on you really have to try to know them. They take me for tours around there homes and show me the damage from the flood. And they look at me and can smile. A genuine smile. Not the fake kind, where you know its because they are trying to be polite. No they smile with their eyes. Im asking about how they live. Here I am sitting there, knowing I have access to all these opportunities and am a pretty privilege person, and here are these families living with a monthly income of 3,000,000 VND a month. Roughly $150. Thats not enough for the family but they can still smile like that...its absolutely amazing. At the same time my heart breaks. I could never be a social worker...I have utmost respect for those of you who want to be or are. I say thank you, leave and feel so much weight walking away with all that knowledge.

Maybe thats why they smile right? They feel lighter sharing some of their troubles with someone..and I feel heavier carrying it...and crazy as it sounds, that makes me feel good. Thats a burden I dont mind carrying and I wouldnt give those 40 minutes up for anything.

No pictures this post, ive got my mosquito net up and my phone is charging across the room.

Now, lets see which one of my smart friends can tell me why I decided on this title for my post.